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Pinoy Marriage = Man's life cycle... 3 to 8 years old - Paramihan ng toys 9 to 18 years old - Pataasan ng grades. 19 to 25 - Padamihan ng siyota 26 to 35 - Pagandahan ng asawa. 36 to 45 - Palakihan ng income. 46 to 55 - Padamihan ng kabit. Theme song of married couples... 1 to 10 years - Araw-araw gabi-gabi 11 to 25 years - Saan ka man naroon 26 to 49 years - Gaano kadalas ang Minsan 50 years and up - Maalaala mo kaya Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? ("May bahay")
Ano naman ang kabit? ("May condo")
Doc: "Ano ang trabaho mo, iha?" Girl: "Substitute po." Doc: "Di kaya prostitute ?" Girl: "Doc, Mommy ko ang prostitute. Kung hindi siya puwede, ako ang pumapalit!" In an obstetricians clinic:
Doc: "Hubad na, iha. Huwag kang mag-alala... I won't
take advantage of you!"
Girl: "Saan ko po ilalagay ang panty at bra ko?"
Doc: "Diyan lang sa may tabi ng brief ko."
Sa seminario: Madre: "Father, pagsabihan mo naman yung mga seminarista. Umiihi sila sa pader!" Father: "Sister naman. Maliit na bagay, huwag mo nang pansinin!" Madre: "Naku, Father, malalaki po!" Dalawang madre ang kinidnap ng dalawang lalaki at sila'y hinalay. Madre #1: "Ama, patawarin mo po siya at hindi niya alam ang kanyang ginagawa." Madre #2: "Sister, yung sa akin, marunong!" At their honeymoon: 60-yr old Pastor to his young bride: "Honey, before we do it, let's first pray for guidance." Young bride: "Darling, just pray for endurance, I'll take care of the guidance!" Medyas Isang alalay: Boss Erap, bakit magkaiba ang medyas mo? Isang green,isang red. Erap: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Loi. May isang pares pa ako na ganito sa bahay. Erap Makes a Wish Erap shows a map of the Philippines to a genie and wishes that all the islands be connected by fly-overs Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish! Erap: Okay. Make me intelligent! Genie: Can i see the map again? Erap calling a hotel receptionist. Erap: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko? Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mga pinto? Erap: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukas ko banyo. 'Yung isa naman may nakasabit na "do not disturb" . Medical Exam Erap is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well. His pants, socks and watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Miss, I am only following the instructions, " he says, " it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief'." Elevator FVR: Sorry I'm late! brownout! na stuck sa elevator for 1 hr ERAP: Wala yan ako 3 hrs sa escalator Six or Eight Erap calls into a take-out pizza parlor. Pizza man: Would you like your pizza sliced into six or eight? Erap: Six, I don't think I could eat eight. Charity ERAP Handed a Check to Sec. Zamora as Donation to a Charitable Institution. SEC. ZAMORA: "Mr. President, Bakit Walang Pirma Ito?" ERAP: "OK lang kasi gusto ko maging ANONYMOUS DONOR". Ballerina! While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage, Erap commented- "Ang tanga naman ng direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng matangkad?!" In a coffee shop: Erap: 1 coffee please Waiter: Decaf, sir? Erap: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much for me! Flight to SF ERAP: I would like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco OPERATOR: Just a minute sir ERAP: Ah, ok. Thank you. Apollo 13 reporter: mr. president, have you watched "Apollo 13". erap: no, i might not undertand it. reporter: why?? erap: because i wasn't able to watch Apollo part 1 to 12. Pizzeria While in a pizzeria. Erap : What are your specialties? Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza. Erap : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey's !! Science Class In a science class. Classmate : Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elisi, uma-angat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa pa din? Erap : Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may kurdon, pinipigilan yon!! Pip Jinggoy: Dad, pang ilang Tirso Cruz na si Tirso Cruz III? Erap: (natawa) trick question ba yan anak? Eh, di pang-lima, kaya nga PIP and tawag sa kanya, di ba? Erap and Fire Exit Scenario: Nasusunog ang Malacanang! Guard: Mr. President dito po ang daan sa fire exit. Erap: Engot, diyan nga dadaan ang apoy, eh! Please share your joke to bobdelo@yahoo.com and it will be published at WFASI site.
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